Dia buka pintu kereta.
" Hi " i greeted her
" Hi back.." slow toned.
" how was your day"
" Entah "
" Okay tak? "
" Nope " Sepatah - sepatah jawab. Not in the mood la kut
" Care to tell ? "
" hm maybe later .. pergi makan dulu jum ? Tadi datang office berat 65 kg sekarang dah tinggal 27 ringgit haha " tersengih sengih.
" Oh haha...hm..that was a nice one hahah..hmm okay saya plan kita pergi to that one restaurant at setiawangsa but kalau kedai dekat setiawangsa tu tutup kita pergi yg dekat curangwangsa pulak lah. okay? "
" Tak tak tak. No no pls dont start it" weh dia tak gelak pun. duh
" dont start what ? " dude , she was like okay for a while and it literally takes her 1 sec to be an emo queen again. Dia buat boleh pulak tau. Yes, again. We already discussed on this once (yes like literally discuss over the matter in which i think benda ni takda lah a big deal mana pun sampai nak kena discuss bagai. but, however, unluckily, it is to her) so i thought dengan buat buat tak tahu it'll divert the issue away ke apa ke. but nope.
" you la, dont start that hambar childishh jokes yang saya rasa tak funny sebab now saya dah penat , i need to rest and before that i need you to bring me somewhere to eat first "
" okay...seems like you re in hurry and a bit tired...."
" not a bit! memang penat gila okay ! huh " dia jeling sambil mukanya bertoleh ke kanan. damn, she's so cute even that she's mad i still think thats lovely.
" okay...seems like youre in hurry and penat gila okay...so instead of heading to setiawangsa maybe we can go eat somewhere near here and then ill take you home immediately. okay princess? "
" okay what ever lah."
10 minutes going to the makan place felt like the longest 10 minutes in my life. You know, although the road is not jammed but its raining a bit, the cold atmosphere between us, of her post tired - moody mood make the road felt like sangat jauh but its empty and you cant do anything about that. and you know, out of nothing to speak, me too, didnt speak anything along the journey. Till then she said....
" I love you "
" what ? " ( ni bukan buat buat tak dengar, but a bit terkejut and i plus i need her to repeat the words back sebab takut salah dengar and jadi salah faham)
" I love you. I said, I love you. Sorry pasal tadi. You know kan i memang tak sengaja tinggikan my voice in front of you. its just, im tired of working today, of the submission day thing, dengan all of the office stuff semua"
" yes i know. im okay je pun, not a big deal pun lah"
" Tu je ?" (i was like weh what more girl and then i was like..oh wait.. )
" oh ya. annyeonghaseyo too ! "
" again, man? no need for you nak cakap korean semua, no need for you to ulang balik your attitude when you were with her dengan saya. dia lain , saya lain u know. Saja je dia ni kan" jeling lagi. Not serious, but i consider it as a warning
" hekeleh dia ni, okayokay . I love you too ! " guess she still remember that. the thing yang aku cakap semua pasal perempuan tu (well, takda la sampai semua) time we discussed pasal over the matter tu. my fault jugak, buat silap sama dua kali. Ugh stupid.
" Hee " dia mengomel. Okay from emo queen to gedik betty mode: immediately on. nasib baik. Perempuan, macam ni lah.
To start with, dia macam ni.
seperti orang orang lain yang dalam new relationship jugak, we still do that intro kinda thing. my first time tak pulak macam tu. maybe this time its different kut. You know, from stuff ringan ringan pasal what kind of movie genre that you like? your fav band and song sampai lah ke serious stuff pasal prev relationship and such. So dengan rasa takda apa apa yg perlu disorokkan i did tell her, but not in detail sangat for sure. Till she gets kinda triggered to hear more. Start tanya dengan what kind of person she is, what kind of jokes that u guys did with each other, and banyak lagi lah. So you know, i thought that she didnt like me to act with that stupid jokes infront of her when shes tired (which kalau dengan prev one, kalau penat penat pun she'll layan and gelak) because somehow dia kinda dah matured (idk or sure about this) for jokes like this or maybe it'll just remind her to my previous relationship - in which somehow i think the main reason is maybe dia kinda insecure bila i keep repeating perangai macam tu infront of her sebab that will somehow juga, remind her of the references that i made from my previous relationship in which aku dah pernah cerita dekat dia, and somehow juga lagi, she still remembers the detail semua and semua lagi la possibilities yang ada. And insecure maybe sebab dia tak nak aku ingat balik that side of my past again. Or precisely, her.
and ya , i might be wrong, maybe dia memang penat kut sebab setakat ni she only complained about this twice before which i think masih dalam tahap boleh fun fun knowing each other process lagi. maybe?. yela, tak sampai setahun pun mungkin belum sampai that serious dont-make-that-kinda-jokes-infront-of-her-again-threat lagi kut? .
But still, tak sama. Memang tak sama.
Yes we still in the knowing each other process lagi. sometimes when we were having dinner she'll suddenly tanya whether lepas my prev break-up, aku ada tak commited in other relationship sebelum aku jumpa dia. Dulu ada juga dia cerita about her past relationship, pasal the last time she ever in love was bila dia in secondary level then lepas that till now she never commited to any. I thinks she's a nice girl, and plus, she's cool too. I asked her why, then dia kata belum masa nak fikir pasal hubungan lagi. And then, tanya lagi, why now and why me?
she said "Sebab sekarang lah masa nak fikir pasal hubungan, and , the god himself 'jumpa-kan' saya dengan a man yang fikir the same thing too? what an unlucky coincident to met you ! tapi sebab ive already 'stuck' here what can i do meh !" this girl is really something. Simply innocent but evil at the same time
damn. sakit perut gelak time tu. Tak rasa nak gelak sangat pun, but lepas tengok dia gelak bagai nak rak - you know that moment when u watch someone laugh gila gila and then the laugh somehow possesed you.
and back to her question, aku jawab lah tak
" Entah. Tak rasa pulak nak rushing untuk ada new relationship lepas break up tu. And sepanjang that period..not even a girl pulak yang nak bertegur and such. well, memang dari dulu bila dengan relationship with my prev one pun takda siapa pernah nak tegur. Ini pun luckily i get to know you...sebab luckily juga....awak yang tegur dulu haha!"
"Oh loser jugak eh awak ni ? " dan dia punya gelak terus berderai. Still cute tho.
( and aku pun ikut gelak sama, tak nak situation jadi awkward. yelah, dah kena bahan pastu senyap nanti orang kata sentap pulak. tapi aku tak sentap, aku cool) . Tapi sebenarnya, aku tak gelak sebab aku tak rasa pun yang for us to gelar someone loser for not being in a relationship, or not having not even a girl to have a crush on him bukan lah satu gelaran yang aku rasa menjengkelkan and funny at the same time to be consider as a 'bahan' pun. aku rasa macam tu mostly because its something normal ? and tak semua orang ada the same sense of humor towards the tasteless joke as we do? kalau betul pun memang takda seorang pun yang berkenan , aku tak rasa i'll put myself in that loser position.
dulu dia pernah juga cakap exactly benda sama the way she did, and macam sekarang jugak, still tak rasa apa apa pun. But now, when i came to realise it, aku rasa first time the word loser tu betul betul apply dekat aku is when i lose her.
Entah. Bila dah rasa lama dengan ruang comfort dalam hubungan tu, and somehow the relationship doesnt work the way we want it to be, then you know, come another person that requires you to change ruang comfort tu to fit theirs, then you'll do whatever it takes sebab dengan cara tu saja you'll feel like...being loved again..but then it will be macam...lain?
lain in the sense that, im more happy the way i am before than i am now?
but somehow, on the positive note, benda macam ni takes a little time to work and eventually maybe i'll get used to it?
yes, i think thats it.
" Broooo., jauh termenung " dia cakap sambil tiru gaya yasin dalam filem man laksa mamat khalid and lepas tu gelak sorang sorang . she knows that i love that movie
" haha whats up with that voice weh ?"
" awak lagi fikirkan pasal suara tu dari saya yang dah lama tunggu nak keluar ni . Tu kedai makan depan tu, nak tunggu apa lagi jum lah keluar makan. huh! " jeling . lagi.
" oh ya..sorry sorry haha jum jum "
" okay tak kira. Siapa lambat sampai sana dia kena belanja! "
sap ! sambil sambil gelak terus dia hilang lari lari anak lepas tutup pintu kereta , going to the restaurant...
i laughed. Guess that im slowly becoming a happy man now
